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Welcome to the Mettaton Express!
Welcome to the Mettaton Express (MTT-EXP), the most advanced form of human preservation when it comes to catastrophic events that result in the extinction of all life on Earth! As a resident of the MTT-EXP, you must be prepared for your next 50 years of life while we fly to TNP-32947, the nearest inhabitable planet to Earth chosen in case of a cataclysmic event or other event apocalyptic in nature resulting in the Earth becoming uninhabitable. Section 1: A New Life Most, if not all of the residents on the MTT-EXP are expected to arrive unprepared. In turn, the MTT-EXP was stocked with food, clothing, living quarters, and entertainment to last 50 years. Due to barriers installed in the ship, both aging and reproduction are disabled for the next 50 years, effectively rendering everyone present immortal and sterile for the duration of the trip, in order to prevent the human race from dying out before reaching TNP-32947, as well as making sure that space doesn't run out on the ship. 1.1: Leader of the new Era Are you in fear of being put into a position of leadership against your will, and at the same time, lacking a leader figure? Worry not! It is statistically unlikely that you will be chosen to be the leader of the new era! The leader of the new era is given the task of doing exactly what you'd expect them to: Whatever the hell they want! They are chosen randomly at the introductory ceremony for the MTT-EXP, and from then on, their word is law. If you were chosen to be the leader of the new Era, please refer to the MTT-brand Leader of the new Era rule book. It's a blank notebook that you can write the rules in. 1.2: MTT-EXP Residential Accessories After the opening ceremony, each resident will be provided with the following items: 1.2.1: MTT-EXP Residential Jumpsuit Every resident aboard the MTT-EXP is given a custom made jumpsuit to function as their daily wear. The jumpsuit is bright purple, and has a large icon on the back of Mettaton EX riding a cartoon rocket ship, pinup style. The front of the jumpsuit will have your name and MTT-EXP residential number on it, as well as your job, once you are assigned one. The jumpsuit is also coupled with a black pleather belt and black pleather boots. Solid color undershirts of any requested color are also provided. 1.2.2: MTT-EXP Social Device Everyone aboard the MTT-EXP is provided with an MTT-EXP Social Device. It clips onto the residential jumpsuit's belt, and has a variety of features and apps which will be detailed in section 3: Entertainment. Its outer shell is made of a hard plastic, and dim lights underneath determine the color of the social device. The device's color can be changed via the MTT-EXPression app, though it's set to purple by default. 1.2.3: MTT-EXP Semi-Portable Laptop Terminal Everyone on the MTT-EXP is assigned their own MTT-EXP Semi-Portable Laptop Terminal. It isn't meant to be carried around at all times, although it can easily be carried from the living quarters to a public room that permits its use. It comes equipped with a variety of features and apps which will be detailed in section 3: Entertainment. Like the MTT-EXP Social Device, its outer shell is made of a hard plastic, and dim lights underneath determine the color of the social device. The device's color can be changed via the MTT-EXPression app, though it's set to purple by default. 1.3: Food Due to patented MTT-brand food synthesizers on board, you can enjoy over 100 of your favorite non-brand-name foods with 70% flavor accuracy! 1.4: Living Quarters Everyone aboard the MTT-EXP has their own room with 100 square feet of space! The room, by default, contains an MTT-brand dresser, a bed with MTT-brand Mettaton's face bedding and pillow set, an MTT-brand flat-screen entertainment broadcasting device, and an MTT-brand swivel chair and desk set. Like the MTT-EXP Social device, the walls are made of a hard-plastic material with dim LED lights underneath, simulating wall colors. While the walls are purple by default, they can be changed via the MTT-EXPression app. Section 2: Medical Care 2.1: Medications In the event that you, as a resident of the MTT-EXP, are in need of medical care for any reason, you can visit a Dial-a-Medication machine located in the atrium and enter your MTT-EXP resident code (provided on arrival) as well as your performance hindering symptoms. Depending on what you enter, you will be prescribed medications for a set period of time, should the medications exist. 2.2: Coping Does the fact that you will never see any of your family that hadn't made it onto the ship with you again, coupled with the sudden realization that you are one of only a few hundred people that survived the apocalypse in comparison with the previous number of 7 billion people make you feel sad, angry, scared, or any other emotion which may be hindering your productiveness as a member of a future society? If so, you may be liable for MTT-Care coping chemicals. MTT-Care coping chemicals are the leading brand of anti-depressants designed to bring you back to who you once were before the apocalypse! NOTE: May cause delusional behavior in which the patient believes they are in an alternate reality. Alternate realities vary. Section 3: Entertainment Unless you'd rather be frozen for 50 years (Option not available), having nothing to do for such an extended period of time can make for a very dull experience. That's why the MTT-EXP has been installed with enough Entertainment to last 50 years! 3.1: Apps A variety of applications are, by default, installed on each resident's MTT-EXP Social Device and MTT-EXP Semi-Portable Laptop Terminal. 3.1.1: What's Mettaton Doing? Mettaton's blog, What's Mettaton Doing?, details exactly what Mettaton is doing at the time in 300 letters or less! It can be accessed as an app on the Social Device, and as a website on the Semi-Portable Laptop Terminal. It cannot be uninstalled. 3.1.2: Tracker The Tracker app allows you to find out where on the MTT-EXP certain people are, by tracking their Social Device. It can only be accessed by the Social Device. It cannot be uninstalled. 3.1.3: Spacebook Spacebook is the main and only social media app on the MTT-EXP. It can be accessed as an app on the Social device and a website on the Semi-Portable Laptop Terminal. By keeping this app on your Social Device, you hereby agree that your personal information can, and will, be sold by Mettaton. It cannot be uninstalled. 3.1.4: MTT-EXPression MTT-EXPression allows a resident to change the color of their assigned Social Device, Semi-Portable Laptop Terminal, and the walls in their room. It can only be accessed on the Social Device, and cannot be uninstalled. 3.1.5: Mettaweb The one and only internet browser on the MTT-EXP. It's search engine is Mettasearch, and all other web browsers and search engines are blocked. 3.1.6: MTTmail MTTmail is the email service offered by Mettasearch. While users are allowed to email other users, the vast majority of the inbox is usually composed of newsletters from Mettaton. 3.1.7: MTText MTText allows users to text other users. However, certain words and phrases are blocked out, such as cuss words and phrases slandering Mettaton. 3.1.8: Love Tester The Love Tester app is just a generic love tester game. Now with 2% less accuracy! 3.1.9: Angry Bird Angry Bird is a knockoff app of flappy bird, instead using Mettaton dressed as a bird flying through pipes that are styled to look like his sexy legs. 3.1.10: Games for Cats It's just a collection of mini-games that are cat themed. There are not actually any cats on the MTT-EXP. 3.1.11: Rat Catch Go! Walk around real places to find fake rats to catch in this game! Some say you can catch cooler animals, but that's a lie! IT'S JUST RATS! 3.1.12: Bird Catch Go! The spiritual successor to Rat Catch Go!, this game allows you to walk around real places to catch fake birds! Why would you want 462 birds? No one knows! Just keep catching them! 3.1.13: Donutology Read about the origin of donuts that you will never be able to taste in their former glory again! Did you know that the first doughnut was actually a wad of deep-fried tissues? 3.1.14: Meme Generator Are you trash? Than this is the app for you! Take a picture of that doorstop. Now, there's a caption about Mondays above it! 3.1.15: Car Cleaner 4 Lite If you're like any mom ever, your car is messy and you don't like that! This app promises to clean out your car. Why was it included on the Social Device? Who really knows? 3.1.16: Toothpick Enthusiasts Guide to Toothpicks What's the best toothpick to use after eating a salad? How about after getting a rock lodged in your jaw? You will never have to ask yourself this question again if you own this app, created by and for toothpick enthusiasts. 3.1.17: 101 Q-Tips for Maintaining Ear Hygiene A handy guide on how to clean out your ears. 3.1.18: Deth punch Deth punch is a very addicting game that can entice even the most stoic people into playing it for hours on end. It was originally made by an eight-year-old in the 90's, and has received many sequels and reboots. It is a mix of Medieval, Space, and Western elements in an RPG in which you play as Deth punch, a troubled mercenary trying to escape his past demons. It is critically acclaimed as the best game of all time with no contest. It has been ported to the MTT-EXP Social Device for your gaming needs. 3.1.19: MTTNews A website that hosts the news of the MTT-EXP. 3.2: Television Every resident's Living Quarters are equipped with an MTT-brand flat-screen entertainment broadcasting device that allow users to watch and enjoy television programs starring everyone's favorite actor and only everyone's favorite actor: Mettaton! 3.2.1: I Married a Robot and my Parents are very Disapproving etc. etc. etc. A romantic drama starring Mettaton as all the characters, this show follows the events of the newlywed couple, Christine and L0V3-bot as they fight the prejudices that Christine's parents throw at her. Watch as they try to set her up with their neighbor, Maximilian, cast as special celebrity appearance, Mettaton. New captions tell audience when to laugh, cry, and give a standing ovation! 3.2.2: Cooking with a Killer Robot Mettaton's live cooking show, Cooking with a Killer Robot, airs every Sunday, and details recipes that Mettaton pre-makes fresh, and then shows how he made them fresh! Too bad no one on the MTT-EXP can actually cook fresh foods, and just uses food synthesizers. 3.2.3: Romeo & Juliet - MTT-version Does the classic Romeo and Juliet seem a bit dated to you? Don't answer that, we obviously know you're going to say "Yes." With Mettaton's new updated version, you can watch a classic love story, while at the same time understanding what's going on! 3.2.4: MTTNews The MTT-EXP's news channel. It mostly covers whatever Mettaton and the Leader of the New Era are up to. Section 4: Public Rooms Having nothing to do and nowhere to go for so long will make for a dull trip. That's why the MTT-EXP, in all it's glory, contains a variety of public rooms that are open 24-7 (unless a schedule is otherwise specified). 4.1: Atrium The Atrium is just a large room with a bunch of shitty folding chairs and a stage for giving announcements in. 4.2: Dining Hall The dining hall is where residents of the MTT-EXP come to eat three times a day. It is a large, fancy room, though the style is subject to change along with Mettaton's thoughts, interests, and what he deems "In style". The food supplied is free. 4.3: Theater The Theater is similar to the Atrium, in that it is a large room (Though designed to accommodate only a fraction of the people that the Atrium can) with a stage for live performances by Mettaton. A screen can also be pulled down to play pre-recorded productions, starring Mettaton. 4.4: MTT-Brand Burger Emporium MTT-Brand Burger Emporium sells food items that are considerably better than the food items served in the dining hall. However, these items are not free. 4.5: MTT-Brand Clothing Emporium The MTT-Brand Clothing Emporium sells clothing for special occasions, though they all have Mettaton's face on the front and/or back of the clothing items in question. 4.6: Mettaton's Caffeinated Coffee-flavored Water Shop Coffee - A drink that many thought would be lost forever in the event of the apocalypse. It is considered a necessity of life. At Mettaton's Caffeinated Coffee-flavored Water Shop, you can drink water that simulates coffee in that it's both caffeinated and coffee flavored! 4.7: Game room The Game room is a room that can hold many people at once. The only games that the MTT-EXP contains, however, are Ride to Hell Retribution, and Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. 4.8: Anime room The Anime room is just a large room full of pillows, blankets, and chairs for watching anime on a single screen. However, the only anime included, due to many people voting for it to be included, is the worst anime of all time: Sword Art Online. 4.9: Virtual Reality Simulator: White Room Have you ever wanted to escape this universe, and go to a completely different one? In this handy-dandy room, up to 100 people at once can be hooked up to a network that places them inside of the same virtual reality space: It's just a white, empty space. In the distance, large, foggy, blocky, white structures can be seen, however, walking towards them will never get you any closer. 4.10: Synthetic Beach Do you miss the days where you could relax on a sunny beach, without a care in the world? You can come pretty close to that feeling with this MTT-brand Synthetic Beach. It boasts features such as real sand, salty water, pseudo-sunlight, and a beach capacity of up to 20 people! 4.11: Synthetic Park This MTT-brand Synthetic Park is made up of plastic grass, fake trees with color changing leaves, pseudo-sunlight and pseudo-moonlight, as well as playground equipment in the case that children are among those chosen to take part in the MTT-EXP mission! The synthetic park is about 5 acres wide. 4.12: Pelt-People-With-Rocks room This is exactly as it sounds. Once you step inside this room, you are fair game to be pelted with rocks by anyone else in the room. At the same time, you are able to pelt others in the room with rocks. Once outside of this room, any rock-pelting activities are strictly forbidden. 4.13: Mettaton's Non-Alcoholic Watering Hole Mettaton's Non-Alcoholic Watering hole is a great place to refill your hydration needs with flavorful drinks that aren't alcoholic, as alcohol is strictly prohibited on the MTT-EXP. 4.14: Pet Shop No, you can't actually have real pets on the MTT-EXP. The Pet Shop just sells those weird tamagotchi things from the 90's. 4.15: Club Rooms Due to a recent study by Mettaton about High School clubs and the roles they play in forming an ideal citizen, regardless of age, all MTT-EXP residents can join any of the following clubs ripped off from some high school that's probably been completely obliterated at the time of reading. Some clubs are officially supported by Mettaton and have a schedule, yet others rely solely on the members that join to form proper club activities. Martial Arts The Martial Arts Club is intended to be a club in which members can learn Martial Arts for self defense, although it can technically be re-purposed into anything since it isn't supported by Mettaton. Light Music The Light Music Club is intended to be a club in which members play music as a recreational activity. While it isn't backed by Mettaton officially, this club can still rent out the theater for the occasional performance. Photography The Photography Club is a club in which a bunch of residents can take pictures of certain activities legally on the MTT-EXP. They are officially backed by Mettaton and will sometimes be tasked with following him around and taking pictures of him. Gardening The Gardening Club is intended to be a club in which students grow fresh foods from seeds that have been cloned, though it can technically become anything due to it not being supported by Mettaton. Sports The Sports Club is supposed to be a club in which residents get together to play sporting games. Though not officially supported by Mettaton, this club may put on the occasional sporting event that can be watched by other residents. Gaming The Gaming Club is a club intended for gaming, and club activities are usually held in the game room, as well as playing Death Punch on their Social Devices. They are not an official club and can therefore be re purposed into anything. Art Club The Art Club is a club in which residents do a variety of artistic activities, such as drawing, painting, and sculpting. They are officially backed by Mettaton and may sometimes be tasked with creating the covers for many of his merchandise, available at any MTT-brand Mettaton Memorabilia Kiosk. Science The Science Club is intended for residents to perform a variety of science experiments, although it is not supported by Mettaton and is thus subject to change. Cooking The Cooking Club is a club that doubles as a job for residents. Residents in this club must prepare every meal in the dining hall by selecting a flavor of food paste to be synthesized by the food synthesizers and molding it into the correct shape with food molds. It is officially backed by Mettaton. Drama The Drama Club is a club in which residents put on stage performances for the entertainment of other residents. It doubles as a job and is officially supported by Mettaton. Occult The Occult Club is intended to be a club in which students research occult beings and other paranormal things, though it is not supported by Mettaton and is thus subject to change. Section 5: Other Locations of Interest 5.1: Office of the Leader of the New Era The official office of the Leader of the New Era. Arrange appointments* to meet with the second** most popular celebrity on the MTT-EXP! *The Leader of the New Era is not required to attend appointments. **The first is Mettaton. 5.2: Airlock Disguised as a Complaint Booth Do you have an issue with Mettaton, the Leader of the New Era, or anything else regarding your new life on the MTT-EXP? Here you can compose a formal complaint directed towards the offensive party, without the risk of being vented into the cold vacuum of endless space where your body will never be discovered by any life form ever again, intelligent or otherwise! After all, Mettaton Cares™. 5.3: Prison Cube In order to harbor a false sense of security, criminals on the MTT-EXP are sent to a state of the art containment center. Rehabillitation isn't necessary with a prison cube this advanced! Note: any inmates detained in the prison cube forfeit their rights as human beings. 5.4: Library Let's be real - who reads books ''anymore? According to our numbers that we just made up, ''no one. Following such discovery, Mettaton took the liberty of destroying all texts onboard the MTT-EXP and replacing them with pictures of his face. Section 6: Jobs and Professions Every resident of the MTT-EXP is encouraged to have a job or profession to ensure that the human race does not forget how to sustain life at the time of arrival on TNP-32947. Though members aren't required to have a job, and can live without them, having a job is the only way to get MettaBux in a straightforward sense, and thus cannot buy things like clothing, furniture, or food and drink, aside from what is provided free of charge. 6.1: Leader of the New Era The Leader of the New Era is the undisputed leader of the MTT-EXP! Their word is law. Job requirements: Must be chosen at the opening ceremony. 6.2: Chef Chefs of the MTT-EXP are tasked with preparing meals in the dining hall. For more information, see section 4.15 under the Cooking tab. Job requirements: Speedy, efficient workers who don't mind touching raw food paste 6.3: Businessman/woman Businessman and businesswomen do the business on the ship to make sure that the ship keeps doing business. Job requirements: Ownership of a tie, and you must pass the business test 6.3.1: Business Cowboy Do the business in a cowboy hat! Job requirements: Ownership of a Cowboy hat, spurs, and a tie. Must pass the business cowboy test 6.4: MTT-Brand Burger Emporium ''' '''6.4.1: Cashier Serve MTT-Approved fast-food chain related items to other residents! Job requirements: Teenage lowlife 6.4.2: Burger flipper Flip burgers. That is all Job requirements: None 6.5: MTT-Brand Clothing Emporium 6.5.1: Cashier Sell clothing that is to be worn only for special occasions, such as birthdays, fancy dinners, or one of Mettaton's performances! Job requirements: None pizza, left beef 6.5.2: Clothing machine manager Make sure that the MTT-Brand 3D clothing printer is always printing out pictures of Mettaton on each article of clothing! Job requirements: Well-rested, observant employee 6.6: Mettaton's Caffeinated Coffee-flavored Water Shop ''' '''6.6.1: Barista Serve people Caffeinated Coffee-flavored Water, and gossip with customers! Job requirements: Someone who keeps up on the latest gossip 6.6.2: Water flavorer Add coffee flavoring and caffeine to hot water to simulate coffee! Job requirements: No 6.7: Virtual Reality Server Admin Administrate the virtual reality room's single server to make sure people aren't slandering the Leader of the New World or Mettaton! Job requirements: Loyalty to Mettaton and the Leader of the New World, has watched at least 1 episode of Cyberchase 6.8: Mettaton's Non-Alcoholic Watering hole 6.8.1: Bartender Serve people non-alcoholic drinks, as well as lending a shoulder for them to cry on, should the need arise! Job requirements: Must keep up with the latest gossip 6.8.2: Non-Alcoholic Drink Mixer As a Non-Alcoholic Drink Mixer, you pour drink mix packets into water bottles! Job requirements: Not 6.9: Mettaton Police Officer As a Mettaton Police Officer, you will serve Chief-bot, and, by extension, Mettaton and the Leader of the New World. Job requirements: Loyalty to Mettaton, and the Leader of the New World. Good set of morals. Physically fit, Mentally stable. 6.10: MTTNews 6.10.1: News Anchor Do you enjoy talking about Mettaton? Of course you do, he's great! More importantly, do you like sitting down in front of a huge audience? Yes? Perfect! You're a news anchor now. Job requirements: Charismatic, loves talking about Mettaton. 6.10.2: News Article writer Do you like talking about Mettaton? Are you good at expressing yourself through text? Then this is the job for you! Job requirements: Charismatic, Great Author, Loves talking about Mettaton Section 7: Law of Mettaton While the word of the Leader of the New World is law, there are a few laws set by default by the second-in-command, Mettaton. 7.1: Laws Rule 1: No Swearing. '''residents of the MTT-EXP are not allowed to cuss. If cussing persists, they will be followed around by a little robot that blares an airhorn every time they cuss. '''Rule 2: Edginess of all forms is prohibited. Punishment for being whatever Mettaton or Chief-bot deems "edgy" is 12 hours in the prison cube. Rule 3: Do not slander Mettaton or the Leader of the New World. First time offenses are 24 hours in the prison cube. 2nd time offenses are 48 hours. Each offense after adds another 48 hours to the sentence. Rule 4: Alcoholic beverages and nonprescription drugs are forbidden. Breaking this law will result in at least 1 week in the prison cube, or rehabilitation in the case of addictions. EXCEPTIONS: Seamus the Sea-captain is allowed to drink alcohol, so long as he keeps if for himself. Rule 5: No throwing rocks at people outside of the pelting room. Punishment for this crime is death. Section 8: 50 Years Later... Assuming you are reading this section 50 years after the MTT-EXP begun it's voyage, you have just landed on the surface of TNP-32947. You may be wondering, what happens next? It is normal for residents to be weary of leaving the MTT-EXP after 50 years of being sealed up inside. This is why the MTT-EXP will remain open, despite lying dormant on the surface of TNP-32947. TNP-32947 is a lifeless rock. When the MTT-EXP first arrives on it, the first step is to terraform. With Mettaton's pattented MTT-Brand Terraforming Lasers, it's as simple as asking the Leader of the New World the colors they want the foliage to be! After terraforming is complete, the next step is populating the planet with other life forms! With the MTT-Brand Life form creator, paired with Spore, it's as simple as the Leader of the New World creating a giant dick Spore creature! The creatures will then be sent to randomized places on the planet. The third step to colonizing the planet is giving it a name. The Leader of the New World is solely responsible with coming up with the new name. Please write the chosen name in the box below: Once a name is chosen, citizens are randomly assigned to be engineers for the task of building houses on the new planet. Each engineer is given a toolkit 34Beta, which includes: * A pill container of dehydrated drywall * Spray-on Carpet * Automatic digistruct roof * Self-sustaining light emitters * All-in-one bathroom containing shower, toilet & sink * Self-inflating bed/life raft * 1 box of generic bandages * A degree in construction Section 9: Leader of the New World's Law The Leader of the New World's Law section is a section in which the Leader of the New World writes the rules that they come up with. It will be updated by the Leader of the New World on the digital version of Welcome to the Mettaton Express! So be sure to check back regularly. Section 10: Citizens of the Mettaton Express Category:No Gods, No Kings, Only Stevie Category:Miscellaneous Pages Category:Roleplay